The art of afternoon tea etiquette
Pinkies at the ready, lovefood went out for afternoon tea to investigate the etiquette behind the quaintest meal in the world.
Editor Andrew and I are well-trained when it comes to table manners. Never eat with your mouth open, try not to leave your seat when someone is still eating, and don’t slurp your soup – even mother would approve of us.
But roll the clocks back 60-odd years, and we would’ve been outcast as wild, uncouth savages. Our behaviour at afternoon tea – courtesy of our friends at Hyde Park’s InterContinental hotel – was downright disgusting, if Emily Post’s Etiquette (1945) was to be our guide.
Emily's rules
Here are five of her best rules, which I scribbled down before we left for tea in the hopes that we would adhere to them.
Ladies must wear an afternoon dress, preferably pastel colour, and a hat.
Alas my only hat has a bobble on top; nor do I wear pastels. But I did, at least, sport a smart dress.
Men must wear a jacket and a tie.
Andrew wore jeans and a bright blue jumper. How could he embarrass me so?
Ladies must sit gracefully, and under pain of death will she cross her legs. And don’t lean back in your chair – that’s lazy. In Emily’s words…
“One cannot picture a beautiful and high-bred woman, wearing a tiara and other ballroom jewels, leaning against anything…”
I perched like a beautiful, high-bred woman for the first five minutes; then my back gave-way into a glorious slouch, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Liberation!
“It used to be an offence, and is still impolite, to refuse dishes at the table…”
At last, a fun rule! Keen not to cause offence, we gorged ourselves silly on dainty sarnies (guinea fowl with crisp celeriac was the best); warm butter milk scones with quince preserve; and posh cakes galore, the highlight of which was coconut and fennel white chocolate torte.
Upon sitting down, unfold your napkin and keep it on your lap for the duration. NEVER put it back on the table.
This makes no sense to me. I felt some sticky quince jam on my cheek during the scone course, but what was I to do? With my napkin soldered to my lap, I had to wipe the pesky preserve away with the back of my hand instead. Methinks Emily Post would disapprove.
Andrew and I did not pass the etiquette test. Although to be fair, we did eat every last crumb of our very enjoyable Botanical Tea, which celebrates the hotel’s location overlooking London’s iconic royal parks (there was even moss on the top of our three-tiered cake stand).
How to make the perfect cuppa
Emily's top tips on how to pour the perfect cup of tea, accompanied by a video tutorial from Lady Charlotte:
* Put the tea in the cup first, before the milk. In the old days, this was a test of how sturdy your china was.
* If only a lady and a gentleman are present, the man must always offer to pour, lest the lady sprain her wrist with the effort. After he has poured, the man should position the teapot so that the spout faces him.
* Use a quiet, gentle back and forth motion to stir your tea. Never scrape the sides or bottom of the cup in loud circular motions.
*You should look in to the cup when drinking; not over it.
*Under no circumstances dunk anything into your tea. Dunking is a huge faux-pas.
Stuffy rules or dainty fun?
If you're paying £30-something a head for sarnies, a brew and a couple of cakes, shouldn't you be allowed to behave however you want? Or is sitting up straight, wearing your Sunday best, and letting a gentleman pour your tea all part of the fun? What table manners do you adhere to? Talk to us in the Comments Box below...
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