The old saying goes that 'manners maketh man', and that's worth bearing in mind the next time you're dining out. From arriving late for your reservation to using the wrong cutlery, there are certain etiquette mistakes you should never make at a restaurant. Here we reveal the top things to avoid doing to get the best out of your dining experiences. How many of these faux pas have you made?
Click or scroll through our gallery to discover the things you should never do when dining out, counting down to the most frowned upon of all.
We've based our ranking on how likely each mistake is to cause offence, and on the opinions of our well-travelled (and well-fed) team. The list is unavoidably subjective.
The arrival of the bill can be an awkward moment when eating out. But you'll only make things worse by just paying for the things you specifically ordered, meticulously breaking things down to the last penny. Instead, consider splitting the bill evenly, asking for separate bills ahead of time or ensuring everyone is comfortable with the price list before choosing the restaurant.
You probably got told off about this when you were a kid, so there's no excuse for reaching across members of your party while in a restaurant. If there's something you want from the other end of the table, simply ask someone to pass it to you. That way, you won't invade anybody's space – or end up spilling drinks all over your friends.
Bad news: your mother was setting you up for an etiquette fail when she encouraged you to use a fork and a spoon with your spaghetti. The 'right' way to eat spaghetti is to use only your fork to twist the noodles into a ball before popping them into your mouth. It's fine to use this method at home, of course, but when you're in a restaurant, leave the spoon alone.
No one is going to judge you if you're not an expert with chopsticks – but they might if you don't even try to use them and ask for a knife and fork instead. The best thing to do is own your inexperience, ask for advice from your fellow diners and try your best. It's a skill most people can master with just a little practice, so respect the restaurant and embrace the chopsticks.
Sharing platters are called sharing platters for a reason. If you've ordered a dish meant to be divided equally among the guests in your party, it's good etiquette to make sure everybody has their fair share. Yes, there's always going to be one sad croquette left on its own at the end – but ask if anyone else wants it before you dive in and eat it.
No restaurant – especially on a busy night – can hold your table indefinitely. Most establishments usually offer a grace period of around 15 minutes, but that's not guaranteed on extremely busy nights. If you know you're going to be running late, call ahead and notify the restaurant so the staff can adjust timings accordingly.
Didn't know that there was a right and a wrong way to eat soup? Turns out there is. Always scoop soup away from you and try not to lean too far over your bowl. When you're almost finished, tilt the bowl away from you slightly to make it easier to eat the remaining mouthfuls. And while it's acceptable in some cultures, slurping your soup is often deemed rude, so it's best avoided.
Wide cheese knives and mini cleavers are best for hard cheeses such as Parmesan, Cheddar and Manchego. These should be placed above the cheese and pushed down vertically. Thin cheese knives with a sharp edge are used for slicing semi-hard cheeses including Edam and Gouda, while pointed knives are best reserved for cutting and spreading semi-soft varieties such as Brie and Camembert.
Even if you're really hungry, resist the urge to butter your bread roll and tuck into it whole. Instead, once you've selected your roll from the basket, break off a small, bite-sized piece. It's good etiquette to use a butter knife to butter that piece only, just before you eat it. This prevents butter from getting all over your fingers and around your mouth.
Love eating out at the weekend? Most of us do, so the wait time is often longer. If you're able to, venture out to your favourite local spot during the week every now and again. You'll not only help out small, independent businesses, but you'll also likely receive more attentive service and a shorter wait time.
If you often find yourself confused as to which water glass and bread plate is yours, remember this rule: you’ll find your bread plate on your left (next to your forks), and your water glass on your right. The butter knife will either be served with the bread basket or, more commonly, placed on top of your bread plate.
Once seated, it's good manners to place a napkin on your lap, using it when you need it and leaving it there until you’ve finished your meal. If you get up from the table mid-meal, it's expected that you place your napkin on the seat of your chair. A serviette should never go back on the table until you’re ready to leave.
Reapplying lipstick, checking your make-up or brushing your hair at the dinner table isn't a good look. If you're heading out after the meal and want to touch up your look, do so in the bathroom at the end. The same goes for using a toothpick at the table – excuse yourself and use the bathroom mirrors instead.
Whether you’re having a slight pause from eating mid-meal or you've finished your food, don't ever put your used cutlery back on the table. If you’re just having a break, leave your knife and fork in an inverted V shape on your plate. If you're finished, place the cutlery side by side, either straight on the plate or at a slight angle. This will signal to the waiting staff that they can take the plate away.
The array of cutlery in high-end restaurants or at formal occasions can be highly confusing. Follow one basic rule, though, and you’ll be fine: start with the utensils furthest from your plate and work inwards. The salad and starter knife, fork and spoon will always be on the outside, while the knife and fork nearest to your plate are for the main course. If there's a spoon or fork (or both) above your plate, that's for dessert.
While we all want to avoid pasta sauce splatters on our clothes, using a napkin for anything other than wiping your mouth is a no-no. Many ramen and seafood restaurants, where eating the food is messy, provide special bibs to prevent you from spoiling your clothes, so there's no need to use your napkin to do so.
Whether you're at a restaurant or enjoying a meal at home, it's generally considered rude to use your phone at the table. Research studies have shown that phone use at the dinner table is not only distracting but can cause diners to have a less enjoyable time. Unless you're expecting an urgent call (and have let your fellow diners know this), leave your phone in your pocket or bag and pay attention to the people you're with.
Don't bite off more than you can chew when you're dining out. Talking with your mouth full is impolite in general and, let's face it, nobody wants to see half-chewed food in your mouth – or, worse, experience bits flying everywhere – when trying to enjoy a meal. Swallow your food before you contribute to the conversation and everyone around the table will be grateful.
Don’t like what you see on the restaurant menu? Making small substitutions is usually fine, especially if you have allergies or dietary restrictions. However, asking for completely different dishes just because you don't like the sound of anything on the menu is unlikely to go down well in the kitchen (and will likely make your fellow guests feel uncomfortable). If you have a severe allergy or dietary requirement, it's best to check the menu beforehand or ring ahead to let the restaurant know.
During peak times, most restaurants are likely to be keen to turn tables (seat another set of guests), so unless you're ordering more food or drinks, it's best to pay your bill and leave once you've finished your meal. Many spots will reserve your table for 90 minutes – sometimes two hours, if you're lucky – so it's a good idea not to stick around too long after paying. Haven't finished your drinks or fancy lingering for longer? Ask if you can have a seat at the bar.
Ever pointed at a dish on the menu because you’re not sure how to pronounce it? You're not alone. With increasingly diverse options, new ingredients becoming popular and greater availability of different cuisines than ever before, chances are there’s going to be something on the menu you won't have heard of – or don't know how to pronounce. Restaurant staff are there to help and usually know the menu inside-out, so there's no harm in asking what's what. After all, nobody wants to end up with a dish they don't like.
According to a poll asking people what they considered bad manners in restaurants by software company Fourth, snapping photos of your food is a big no-no. The data found that only one in five respondents thought it was OK to take a picture of a meal and upload it to social media. So, next time you want to get a quick photo of your food, ask your party if they don't mind first – or just keep your phone out of sight for the whole dinner.
Most restaurants will serve everyone at the table at the same time. However, if you're part of a bigger group and it takes the staff a few trips to deliver all the food, do wait before you start eating. That said, some restaurants, such as dim sum spots and sharing plate restaurants, will bring dishes out as and when they're ready. In this case, it's fine to tuck in – and to encourage fellow diners to do the same.
Before you reach for the salt and pepper, taste the dish to determine if the seasoning really does need adjusting; chances are the meal doesn't require any extra salt or pepper. Many high-end restaurants won't even have salt and pepper shakers on the table, as they believe the food will already be seasoned to perfection before it leaves the kitchen.
This one goes without saying, really. As tempting as it can be when a dish is utterly delicious, you shouldn't lick your knife or plate clean. Not only is doing so far from a good (or sophisticated) look, but accidents can easily happen, and you could end up cutting yourself with the knife and ruining the whole meal – not just for yourself, but for the rest of the table.
While some restaurants allow you to seat yourself, it’s always best to check with the front of house staff before sitting down. Even if you have a reservation or can see your name written under the reserved sign, it’s common courtesy to double check with staff; your table could still be occupied, not fully set up, or you may have even been moved elsewhere at the last minute.
It’s standard to leave around 20% of the bill (before tax) in the US. Elsewhere around the world, it’s fairly common to leave between 10-15%. However, restaurants in many European countries will already add a service charge (usually around 12%) to your bill, which means you don't have to leave an extra tip unless you want to. If you're travelling, check online to see what the local customs are as some countries, such as China and Korea, don't expect tips, while in Japan it can be considered rude to tip.
Anyone who has ever worked in a restaurant will tell you how frustrating it is to spot customers snapping their fingers to catch a waiter's attention. Doing so is just plain rude and shows the restaurant – and staff – very little respect. Avoid doing this altogether – the same goes for raising your voice to get attention. Instead, simply wait for the server to come over or try to catch their eye.
If your plans change unavoidably at the last minute, remember it's common courtesy to notify the restaurant that you’ll no longer be attending. Many independent restaurants are counting on your party to show up and may not be able to fill the table last minute with walk-ins, which is why some have started adding reservation deposits and cancellation fees for no-shows. Always ring ahead or cancel your booking online, giving as much notice as possible.
Now discover the foods you should never order at a restaurant
Last updated by Luke Paton.