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The worst cooking advice in history

Wacky words of wisdom
38. Milk a cow mid-recipe
37. Disguise old wine with ginger and turmeric
36. Serve salty jelly on toast
35. Never expose salmon to the moon
34. Substitute eggs for ground eels
33. Make pizza on a bagel
32. Beat cake mix for two hours
31. Sprinkle bicarbonate of soda on raw cheese
30. Microwave your cereal
29. Start your day with a clam frappé
28. Serve fried eggs on lettuce
27. Brown meat with Worcestershire sauce
26. Serve peanut butter with steak
25. Bake apple pie without any apples
24. Add ice cream to two meals a day
23. Bake casserole from a can
22. Inject lamb with hypodermic needles
21. Wash raw chicken
20. Make eggs Benedict with bananas
19. Make mock chicken with veal and pork
18. Serve hamburgers on porridge
17. Use asbestos to help your bread rise
16. Make mashed potatoes with crisps
15. Set your salad in jelly
14. Cook condensed milk until it explodes
13. Lick eggs to check their freshness
12. Make tea from raw beef
11. Steam cucumber
10. Use eight eggs for one omelette
9. Cook fish on your car engine
8. Roast and stuff cows’ udders
7. Deep fry eggs in butter
6. Cook with radium chocolate
5. Add hallucinogens to your salad
4. Preserve butter in a bog
3. Use catnip as an aphrodisiac
2. Dip poisonous mushrooms in chocolate
1. Let your meat go mouldy
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Wacky words of wisdom

Think the secret to great cooking is simply following a recipe? How about when that recipe tells you to use asbestos in your baked goods – or catnip in your puddings? Once upon a time, this was real advice offered in good faith to home cooks. Our list counts down the worst cooking tips of all time, including disastrous kitchen hacks from the Middle Ages and terrible pointers from world-famous cookbooks and celebrity chefs. Approach these pearls of gastronomic 'wisdom' with extreme caution...

Click or scroll through our gallery to discover the worst cooking advice in history.

We've based our ranking on the opinions of our well-travelled (and well-fed) team. The list is unavoidably subjective.

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Eleanor Aldridge

09 July 2024

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