Ankle biters: why do people hate children in restaurants?

A restaurant in Texas recently banned children under eight after 7pm, while a café in London blamed ‘yummy mummies’ for ruining the area. So should eateries be adults only, or are children customers too?

In perhaps the most extreme example of tempers becoming frayed over children in restaurants, one father at a restaurant in Islington smashed a bottle of wine over a fellow diner’s head after he suggested he put his baby to bed. (It was past 10pm, the baby had been crying for 40 minutes, and the father got two years for assault). What is it about children in restaurants in this country that makes some people's blood boil?

The Continental approach

Our Facebook fans and listeners to Vanessa Feltz's radio show (where I spoke about this issue just the other day) praised the sun-soaked lifestyle of family dining in the Med. Children behave, join in, don't throw food, waiters coo, everyone's happy, the wine flows. Trevor Gulliver, owner of St John restaurant in London summed up the European attitude: "I was in L'Heritier, a small restaurant at the back of a fishmongers in Lille once (OK, all be it Michelin starred). We might have been a little scruffy, my wife was a little worried, the waiters were in formal clothes. At the end of the meal the patron came over to me and said thank you for investing in his restaurant. I looked at him and he pointed to our sons who were about five and seven. 'Et voila', he said, 'the future!'" Perhaps your summer holiday was spent enjoying the continental approach? Yet, when back in Blighty, for most of us all that bon homme goes right out the fenêtre. 

I'll have the pasta, hold the kids

Unlike continental Europe, the movement against kids in restaurants is really gaining ground in America. La Fisheria, a Mexican restaurant in Houston, Texas is the latest in a long line of venues banning children of certain ages after certain times. And what happens over there soon catches on over here.

But why? Well, Adweek's Robert Klara sums it up thus: "Blame a wave of childless adults with money to spare. Empty nesters continue to wield a huge swath of discretionary spending dollars, and population dips in first-world countries mean more childless couples than ever." Eating out with kids in America is humorously summed up in this cartoon. 

But what's the state of affairs here in the UK? I put a call in to a range of restaurants, from Soho to nationwide chain places, and here's what they had to say. 

Giraffe (nationwide)

Probably the best known 'child friendly' eatery, I asked founder Juliet Joffe why this is the case. "We didn't go out to specifically target kids; that market came to us," she said. "They come at times of day when you don't have other diners. We get a lot of coffee mornings, people looking for somewhere to go after the school drop off with the younger kids, or somewhere to take kids after school. We also see a lot of divorced parents - a lot of dads would come in, at weekends." You'd have to be a bit mean to begrudge a child time with their father.

I ask her about the mess younger diners might leave. "We've had kids throw up. It happens, and sometimes the parents don't clear it up. You get messy days, but in 15 years I've never had a horror story, because if a child does start screaming a parent will take them out." Juliet goes on: "The worst thing is when different sets of parents argue because they think the other table is being too noisy. That's not nice, but the manager can calm it all down, and a round of drinks soon fixes things."

Polpo (London)

Russell Norman owns a selection of very cool restaurants in the West End of London. Here's what he had to say: "When I opened my restaurants, I always wanted them to be child friendly, but not specifically aimed at children. People self regulate. At 8pm, it'll mainly be 30-somethings. Children will eat at 5-6pm which is great for operators as that's when you want bums on seats."

But more than the bottom line, Russell believes that eating in restaurants also lets children learn. "Eating in a restaurant is a life skill; it's part of growing up, part of the texture and variety of life. I think children need to be exposed to restaurants at a young age."

Wacky Warehouse (nationwide)

Carol Rhead, brand manager for Wacky Warehouse, said: "We believe there is still a great deal of opportunity within the family entertainment market and one area we’ve identified is parents’ need to have some form of children’s play in family-friendly pubs that will keep the children entertained while waiting for their meals. As is expected when dealing with children, they are prone to making a mess when food and drink is served, which can pose a problem if not cleaned quickly and properly. To ensure our teams can easily clean up and that our fixtures and fittings have longevity we designed our large Wacky Warehouses to be fitted with plastic chairs and tables with laminate flooring." 

'The table looks like a bomb's hit it'

So restaurant owners and managers love children. Was anyone going to come out against families in restaurants? Yes – social commentator and former Apprentice contestant Katie Hopkins. So we'll let her have the last, contrary word. "Having been a waitress when I was a student, I have to say I hate families in restaurants," she says. "They are the dirtiest, messiest, meanest customers; food all over the floor, as well as empty tubes of organic puree. I have sympathy for waitresses – the table looks like a bomb's hit it and you know they're the ones on their hands and knees cleaning it all up. Or there's the mother from hell, swathed in Cath Kidston saying, 'Can you heat this milk, can you get this toasted, can we have this on the side...' All these nags at waiting staff. And don't get me started on double buggies!"

What are you experiences of eating out in earshot of children, or with your own? Tell us in the Comments box below. 

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