As life comes to a standstill thanks to the recession, here are ten things that are just going to have to wait...
The recession seems to have put life on hold. The "live now, pay later" mentality of the boom years has been replaced by the "pay now, live later" reality of the bust.
Here are 10 things you might have to put off until the recession is over. I hope you're patient!
Divorce
So much for the quickie divorce.
Solicitors say divorce clients are stretching out the agony as long as possible, in the hope of winning a bigger share of their partner's assets when the recovery kicks in, according to Unbiased.co.uk. So what started off as "til death do us part" ends up as a less romantic "til global economic recovery do we stick it out".
But the quickie isn't completely dead - one in 10 solicitors report clients trying to rush things through, in a bid to offload their spouse at recession valuations.
Shopping
Remember shopping? Remember maxing out your credit cards? Remember retail therapy? Remember when it seemed a great idea to fly to New York to fill up a suitcase with cheap designer jeans and T-shirts?
Incredibly, that's how people amused themselves before the recession, cheered on by the banks and credit card companies. And we're still picking up the tab.
Remortgaging
Your mortgage is a bit pants, especially given the base rate is 0.5%, and you fancy a new one.
Trouble is, you need to borrow 80% of your property's value. Sorry, no can do. The only lender willing to touch such a "high-risk" borrower charges even more than your own lender's standard variable rate.
Maybe in a year or two, eh? When base rates are back up to 5%, no doubt, and market leading fixed-rates start at 9%. Patience isn't always a virtue.
Buying foreign property
At last, you can afford your dream two-bedroom apartment on the Costa del Sol.
With a million new-builds standing empty or half-built, you are spoiled for choice, and they're soooo cheap. In fact, you can even afford a whole development, if you finish the plumbing yourself!
But what's this? You've just checked the euro/sterling exchange rate. Yes, it's another credit crunch catch 22. Prices may have fallen, but so has your currency. And in any case, you probably couldn't get a mortgage.
Finding a new job
You've got a job! Lucky you. Don't shout, everybody will want one. Here's a tip: love it, cherish it, keep it. You may not find another one, at least until the recession is over.
Overseas weddings and stag dos
With an average bill of £21,000, wedding costs were getting out of hand. Now couples are saving thousands by making their own invitations, inviting fewer guests, using a friend to take the photographs and forgoing the posh car, according to new research from The AA.
One in five couples have even made the ultimate sacrifice: no balloons.
Foreign stag dos are also out, mercifully. Why fly all the way to Riga to drink cheap lager and vomit on a statue when you can spend the night at Wetherspoons and barf on the local war memorial instead?
Retiring
More than one in three over-55 year olds are postponing their retirement plans until the stock market recovers. The younger generation are also set to work longer, with the state pension age increasing to 68 by 2024.
Even public sector workers are joining in, with new recruits having to work until 65, rather than 60, and their final salary pension now on the line. So no, you won't retire until the recession is over. I'm talking about the great recession of 2057.
Moving house
There are plenty of reasons not to sell your house at the moment.
Maybe you're in negative equity. Or you can't afford to take a 15% hit on the price. Or you can't find a buyer. Or you can find a buyer, but they can't get a mortgage. Or they can get a mortgage, but can't sell their own property because they refuse to reduce the price.
And even if you could sell your house, you can't get a mortgage to upgrade to a better property. Better stay put for a while.
Foreign travel
From vacation to staycation, the British are becoming a nation of stay-at-homes. The number of overseas trips has fallen for the first time in two decades, according to Defaqto.
Why blow good money flying to Spain when you can pile into the family banger and spend a week under canvas in Kent, or stay with that auntie you haven't seen since they buried uncle Bob?
That's how you rationalised it to your friends in May, when The Met Office was promising a barbecue summer. Then, when your tent got washed away, you discovered that one night in an English hotel costs the same as a week in Fuengirola, but with damp.
People do still take cheap overseas flights, although Ryanair is trying to discourage them by making the experience as miserable as possible. Good to see one business batting for Britain.
Get out of bed
You're young, all your A Levels were graded A, but you still can't find a place at university, because the Government has been furiously slashing places to save money. Never mind, at least you won't graduate in three years' time some £30,000 in debt.
So you decide to get a job, but there aren't any. You would take a gap year, but you've got no cash. Oh dear. You might as well stay in bed until the recession is over.
More: Your credit card can protect you from the recession! | Save now or face the consquences