Debrett's, the modern authority on all matters etiquette, taste and achievement, tells us how to avoid dinner party disasters.
It’s a host’s worst nightmare: your guests are due to arrive any minute and smoke starts billowing from the oven. Even with the best-laid plans, accidents, disappointments and failures whilst entertaining are inevitable. In these situations, it is important not to panic, and to remember that there are very few entertaining emergencies that cannot be solved with a well-stocked cupboard and freezer, and some all-important contingency planning.
Cooking Emergencies
If the cooking’s gone wrong and you’re about to write off the main course, what do you do? Be prepared for disasters. When shopping for your meal, make sure you have emergency supplies in the freezer. Chicken breast fillets can be defrosted in a jug of water, or the microwave, and grilled quickly. A simple tomato, olive oil and garlic sauce can be whipped up in no time and drizzled over the chicken – disaster averted.
Allergies and Dietary Requirements
The key to being a good host is overcoming the challenge of providing food that all of your guests are able to eat. It is your guests’ responsibility to forewarn you of any dietary requirements, which you must respect, but if they forget, earn your stripes as a good host by keeping your cupboard stocked with red lentils, hummus and brown rice – simple ingredients to bulk up a salad, or create a vegan dhal.
Unexpected Guests and Gatecrashers
Last-minute guests can throw meticulously planned dinners into disarray, but the situation can be saved with a few eleventh-hour purchases. An impressive range of bruschettas can be rustled up quickly if your store cupboard is full of olives, nuts and sun dried tomatoes. Bulk up your main course with liberal helpings of rice, pasta or potatoes. Remember that being hospitable is about being accommodating… as inconvenient as a last-minute guest may be, your careful pre-planning will ensure that you are able to handle such issues with aplomb.
If you’re having a big party, gatecrashers can be a nuisance. If you notice a party-goer you don’t recognise, check first with your guests, as they may have brought a friend without clearing it with you. This is rather inconsiderate, but as a host it is polite to live with it. If the uninvited guest doesn’t have any connections to your guests, explain that the party is by invitation only. Politely asking if they have made an error and are looking for another location will usually result in a hasty retreat.
Guest Dilemmas
Every host dreads having a guest who overstays their welcome. But don’t panic; you can pre-empt this by stating arrival and departure times before the visit begins, for example by explaining that you have other commitments after a certain time. Remember it is quite acceptable to specify a finishing time when you are inviting someone to an event, or an overnight stay, at your home.
Occasional drunk guests are a common consequence of liberal hosts with plenty of free-flowing alcohol. Tact is the key to dealing with a guest who has had a little too much to drink; take them to one side, try to ply them with strong black coffee and some food. If they become upset or angry, the fun is over and it is time to order them a taxi and send them home. At all costs, ensure that they don’t drive home – even if it means confiscating and hiding their car keys.
Angry Neighbours
Keep your neighbours sweet by warning them that you are planning to have a party well in advance – they may want to make escape plans. Midnight is usually around the time when neighbours will feel justified in complaining so it is polite to ensure that loud music stops before then. In the event of a neighbour coming round to complain, listen attentively, apologise profusely and turn down the music.
And finally…
Even when things do go wrong, it is important to remember that social events are enhanced by faultless hospitality. Hosts must be many things: flexible yet systematic, relaxed yet decisive, impulsive yet methodical. But above all, you must be generous. The simplest of meals, accompanied with plenty of wine and good conversation, are the perfect ingredients for a memorable night.
Tips taking from Debrett's Guide to Entertaining Etiquette, available to buy here.
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